Red Summer

By the red flower statue next to the river

Two souls have met under the September sun.

Words flowed for hours like a symphony,

Days later fond feelings were exchanged in th’ heat.

For a week, distance did them part

And gray clouds have rolled in with the aid of autumn winds.

Yet, Summer remained in her heart as she waited for him;

But her heart he desired not anymore when he returned.

For he now desired lust, adultery, an emotional desert.

The crisp-white bed sheets went red that night –

Not with virgin blood, but her ripped-out heart

With which’s last beat all hope and joy was lost.

Evening

A shower, put on lingerie

But hide my body under a shapeless shirt.

“Take it off” You undress, then I do too.

The deep breaths begin.

I lie down, you on top

and enter between my expanded legs.

An exchange of moist passion

And then separate – exhausted, satisfied and alone.

Morning

Cracked, crumpled, clustered our bodies are

From a night of twisting, turning and twirling.

The clock ticks away morning hours

And outside birds chipper, the sun shines.

Yet lack of sleep makes you negative

A groan is emitted instead of a morning kiss.

I make breakfast in bed, still you frown

And my bubble of happiness bursts into nothing.

Heart

When we began,

Your heart pumped through your mouth

While mine beated silently, if at all.

Gradually

You became as heartless

As I became fervid.

You felt too little

While I felt too much.

Hence we broke apart.

We were like a heart

Rancid, yellow and still –

Our love was long dead.

Yet in our minds we saw the heart beat,

But  the heart was  in fact decaying, decayed

Long before we took notice the odour of dead illusions and hopes.

New Year

The skies are burning, banging.

A flash of memories runs through my eyes.

Memory! Must you torment me now so?

Of this time last year?

Of how he held me close

From beneath a blanket we watched fireworks.

Of how happy I was, felt so loved.

Naïve! Unknowing! Of what will come.

This year our love went away.

Kind words of affection turned hateful

And anger was felt through his touch.

Memory! Was it necessary?

To remember and now weep over the lost,

To realize without illusion he has changed

Yet so have I.

Memory! Leave me in peace for tonight.

Without You

I used to love you.

Sincerely, dearly, no matter what.

You took all you could –

My illusion, trust – and made me sad.

You let the negatives outshine the good

I lost faith as you did.

Without you I feel better,

Though the pain and empty space is still there.

I promise: to not have you as neither partner nor friend.

You have treated me unwell.

If it were up to me,

I’d make you feel my pain.

Do I miss you?

No. “Missing” is a word you condemned

And a word I dreadfully avoid using.

See how much you changed me?

I have enough of thinking over your words,

As they were as unstable as yourself.

Why do I have to be this over-sensitive,

Why could you not just control yourself?

Instead I am the one paying.

Breaking down into tears,

Pitying myself for your changing to worse.

Look at yourself and think before you speak!

Cold-blooded hypocrite.

That's the way it goes

Just two days after the fireworks,

You broke our mutual silence.

Wished me the best, asked to be met

And had the nerve to say: “I need to hear you.”

Oh – why, of course!

Weird it is not that you desire to “hear” me;

It is that you even think I share that need

And that a text apology is enough.

Enough for the mental and emotional torment,

The tears and words of vile and selfishness.

It was possible indeed to be friends –

But a slapper is someone I erase.

I wrote you so and yet the very next day

You asked for me. The nerve!

I’ll treat you no less than you have me.

And worse. Happy New Year.