An Ode to Blue Skies

It is a beautiful day in Prague town,
inviting all youth to free themselves
from the grasp of ruthless work
and lye down onto a carpet of delicate grass,
closed-eyed.

O, hear! the joyful melodies of birds
sitting on the fence.
Oh, think! of the wind,
softly rushing through the yellowing leaves.

O, smell! the fresh breeze from the trees
and the scent of blooming flowers.
O, feel! the warm sunlight
lingering on your skin.

Imagine you, getting lost 
in the maze of the mortal moment.

***

I leave Thee,
my newly-found, beloved homeland,
my dearest. Reason to rejoice.
Do not fear, I shall return soon
and love Thee more than ever before.

The Pieces

So is this our end?"

You nodded.
I burst into tears.

You held me,
flattening me against your chest.

A crack emits from my breast.

Wordlessly I then stood up and left,
wondering as I left his warmth:
"Is this what a broken heart feels like?

This sudden incapability to breathe;
pressure so high, blood stops flowing;

 tissues ache, shattering beneath the sternum?”

Mariella

A large 3-1 on the wall,

10 months since New Year’s have passed.

A girl runs down the hall –

Halloween is here at last!

“Mother!“ she cries room to room.

„Tonight Halloween’s Eve is;

Give me a hat, cat and broom

Up as a witch I shall dress!“

“No,“ said sharply her mother

“You will at home sit and stay.

With your costume I won’t bother –

This Eve in bed you will lay.”

Mariella cried and weeped;

Into her green eyes tears got

To then fall to mother’s feet -

But yet the wish has changed not.

--------------------------------------------

That Eve in bed the girl lies –

Listening to the street’s laughter

With wide-open and sad eyes

And thoughts in the mind gather.

Though night, outside much light was.

Insomniac, confused, bored –

“Mum’s wish has no reason, cause!”

Anger in her blood roamed.

Out of bed the girl then went,

Knowing what she will now do!

To the lowest shelf she bent

And found a tube: instant glue.

--------------------------------------------

“If a witch I cannot be,

As a pumpkin head I’ll go!”

With a smile on face thought she

 And excitement in blood flow.

Orange paint on fingertips

She smudges it across her face;

The bright color off it drips

And gone is her childish grace!

“Now the grand finale is!”

And opens the instant glue.

As lipstick she the glue uses

Having now one lip, not two.

Black teeth drawn around the mouth

“Perfect!” But in her mind was that.

For her lips moved no more south.

Smiling, she put on a straw hat.

-----------------------------------------------

“Mariella!” high-pitched cry

Turn around: mother at door.

“You up at this hour, why?”

And from shock fell down to floor.

The girl her shoulders squared

And walked by her mother past

In costume she was not scared

And with glued lips that Eve

she had a blast.

Traveller

I became your passage

Both to adulthood

And later, adultery.

First I was all to you,

Then I was nothing but a passage.

Within time I was your all again.

But you cannot stand on one land –

You want to cross the two sides

And built a bridge I so wanted to destroy.

Hence I am nothing again.

Only it was I who burned the bridge

With us standing each on a different coast.

Vanilla Fire

Sit, and watch the skies be set aflame

A pallet of firy tones feather across the clouds

Our burning cigar tip is a minor part

Of this apocalyptic evening.

Once the skies turn dark

And light pollution replaces the sunbeams,

Carry me downstairs into the bed

And make me feel the fire I missed.

Make me cry, sigh, moan your name,

And eventually come.

With my thighs still shaking and you watching me,

Kiss me and say you never felt this fire with anyone else.

Fall asleep next to me,

And soon after we wake and exchange smiles

Take off the shirt you put on me

And set within me another fire.

And after you depart, leave nothing

Except your shirt on me

That smells of nothing more or less

Than sweat and vanilla cigars.

Darker than X

Mist had flooded the streets,

Clearing it of all life.

My heart, in chest beating,

With my mind it had strife.

Icy lung-piercing air

Frost-covered paths and leaves

Sorrowful thoughts I thought,

I wondered about us.

I said I wanted you.

I thought our Love was right

I promised honesty

And now I was a lie.

“Take all the time you need”

Those were your exact words.

Yet know I what will be

Once you and I are “we”?

I hurt myself, hurt you

By having these dark thoughts.

I walked to the river

Where he was waiting, still.

We watched the frozen lake

Whence he asked about you.

“He’s kind...” I responded.

“But he’s not me,” He smiled.

I looked away, saying:

“He’s not you. He’s better.

He creates no pressure

And has no vile intrigues.”

“But you don’t love him so.”

I frowned. “No, but I will.”

He looked at me right then:

“I know you – you don’t love.”

Maybe he was correct.

Only I disagreed.

I only hope to love

To love like he’s never hurt me.

Fallen Dreamer

Sitting empty-souled in a crowded restaurant,
"Imagine" plays in the background -
"You may say I'm a dreamer", they sing.
So my mind follows its notes. 

Yes, I am a dreamer.
Dreaming in this tranquil moment
about how merry it could have been,
if only yesterday would not be yesterday.

The Prince of my Dreams I thought him;
a few single strained nerves however shattered this ideal.
As a man he failed and now is hurt,
And I sit here, alone on a Friday night. A fallen dreamer.

I dream of his smile, the taste of his lips, his body
that just yesterday wanted (and tried) to love me.
I dream of his smell that remains in my hair
as I sadly empty my glass with a single gulp.

All I want is to drink my sorrow away.
To pollute my lungs with countless cigars
To transform my confusion into merriness
and to diffuse into the air as nothingness.

I wish to forget and laugh -
to congratulate Destiny again for its achievement:
You've done it again, Destiny!
I again have fallen from high to low.

Is it all a punishment for being 'cute', 'attractive', 'clever'?
And, Destiny, what good does it do me
when six male strangers want to buy me a drink
when the only man I care about can't even look at me now?

I may be hazy with emotions, drink and tobacco,
yet I finally feel emotions after months of winter and ice.
I feel miserable, lost, confused
and all I want now is to see him and tell him thus:

"I want to be with you for the remainder of your days here -
to kiss you randomly in the morning and watch you smile,
to embrace you during the night when you twitch
and to have our fingers intertwined as we sleep.

You say you want your freedom and no emotional attachment.
So do I. But until you leave, I want to give you
at least half the comfort and love that you gave me.
Because you deserve it and I sense that you want to be loved, too.

Two single weeks with you have changed me - I believe in love again.
In emotional understanding, mutual respect and tenderness.
Copulation is only an almost  faunal act of the body,
but we two have minds, my dear - strong, independent minds.

So put all hurt male pride, negativity and despair aside.
Instead, look into my eyes and hear my honest words:
I may not love you just yet, but I want you more than anyone else.
Until Time and Distance do us part."

I hope for the best, yet expect the worst.
I question his interest in and feelings for me,
yet I know my mind will not know peace
if I do not release my pride and tell him my soul.